When we were teenagers, we all went through certain types of peer pressure. Some good. Some bad.
A lot of young people struggle with pleasing their peers. Adults do it too; it's just more subtle.
It really can go both ways. "I better not wear that because ...what would my preacher think?" Not a bad thought, but it's really wrong motivation isn't it?
or......
"If I dress too modestly, they will laugh at my clothes". Not good either.
Modesty really has nothing to do with what I'm talking about, but it's just the first example too pop into my head.
A couple of weeks ago Michael and I watched a documentary called "Return With Honor". It was a moving story of American prisoners of war in North Vietnam.
While watching it, I kept wondering over and over, "Could I endure that type of torture?"
One of the men in the documentary said that everyone had their limit. They would endure so much, and then either lie to the Vietnamese or they would tell just a little information, or they would just die. I kept thinking "what if that were me?"
What if someone threatened to murder my family if I didn't deny Christ? I know that sounds horrible!!! And I told the Lord recently that if I were to ever face such a thing, to please help me to NEVER EVER compromise my faith in Him. After all, I'd rather die with my family and see Jesus "in a few minutes" than live with the shame that I had turned my back on Him.
Back to peer pressure. The thought occurred to me the other day that if I couldn't deal with silly, petty,normal, peer- pressure, then how could I ever deal with true persecution? Would I bend? Would I compromise? Would I deny Him?
It really concerns mes to even think that way but I "fear" that with the current shift of American values towards "tolerance", that we must prepare , if not ourselves, our CHILDREN for such a time. Yes, persecution in other countries is a reality even now and it is a possibility for us eventually. But if it doesn't happen in my life-time, what about my children? What then? Will I be able to challenge my children enough through their lives to do hard things? Even when they are the only ones? I hope so!!!!
Search me, O God,
And know my heart today;
Try me, O Savior,
Know my thoughts, I pray.
See if there be
Some wicked way in me;
Cleanse me from every sin
And set me free.
I praise Thee, Lord,
For cleansing me from sin;
Fulfill Thy Word,
And make me pure within.
Fill me with fire
Where once I burned with shame;
Grant my desire
To magnify Thy Name.
Lord, take my life,
And make it wholly Thine;
Fill my poor heart
With Thy great love divine.
Take all my will,
My passion, self and pride;
I now surrender, Lord
In me abide.
O Holy Ghost,
Revival comes from Thee;
Send a revival,
Start the work in me.
Thy Word declares
Thou wilt supply our need;
For blessings now,
O Lord, I humbly plead.
11 comments:
This brings back memories for me! I went to public school all my life and struggled with peer pressure a lot. I remember the struggles I had when I went to bible college. It was hard to figure out what crowd I fit in with. I was raised in a conservative home, but my peers had always been public school kids. I always felt torn and felt like I lived two lives. When I was on campus I enjoyed being conservative, but when I went off campus, I wanted to let my hair down and was quite the opposite! I remember even early in my marriage struggling quite a bit with this. I wore my hair up when I went to church but was horrified at the thought of wearing it up to work or out shopping, etc. I would have been ashamed to let anyone I knew from my office or my friends from UC see the way I looked when I went to church, but I would have been ashamed to let my church people see me when I was out shopping or at work or in classes at UC. I remember when I had to finlly come to terms with it and allow God to deal with me. I finally had to take a look at the two sides and finally decided it was much better to be a part of God's family than to be a part of the world. David was an angel and sooo patient and helped me so much through that lonely and difficult time!
I'm so proud of the wise (and sometimes tough) decisions you've made through your life. I'm impressed with the beautiful person and incredibe mommy you turned out to be! I'm sure Michael has been instrumental in that as much as David has been in my life! I'm so proud to have you as one of the dearest friends I have!
That's really good. I am 55 years old, and I'm sorry to have to tell you this, but these kinds of struggles NEVER GO AWAY. You have to fight peer pressure all of your life. If it isn't other kids at school, it is people at work, or other housewives on the block, or people at church, etc., etc.
Both my husband and I have felt convicted this very week about being honest about who we are. It is easy for my husband to tell SOME people that he is a fundamentalist, but not easy to tell the Lutheran and Methodist minsiters that he is a fundamentalist. We're all afraid of being made fun of. Even us older people.
It is easy for me to tell my neighbors that I am a "MODERATE" in many areas, but it is not easy for me to tell my radical get-guns-and-take-over-the-government friends (and I have a couple) that I am a moderate.
It is hard to do what you know is right, when you want other people's approval.
God has a way of moving you around and bring you around different types of people all of your life, to show you who you are, and bring you to a place where you can tell others who you are. Just when you get victory in one thing, God moves you over to a place or puts you around different people, where you need to grow and get victory in another area.
Yeah, about the persecution thing...I know I couldn't stand up under it.
Thanks so much Kelly; your comments mean so much to me! I, too, have appreciated our friendship over the years and your godly example! Thank you also for being such a dear friend!
Civilla,
Thank you for your comment. I think you are right about God allowing us to be around certain people to help us "grow".
You are right... it does seem impossible at times.
I keep thinking of Daniel and the three Hebrew children. I -just today- told my boys that they (Hebrew children) were who we want to be like if it ever comes down to it.
Not that I want to go through persecution (at all! ouch!), but I want to be that brave.
email me at mkjmatlock@yahoo.com.
I have a question I want to ask you having to do with your beliefs about sanctification.
I think I am in agreement with Civilla. I think peer pressure is ALL around us. As long as we live on this earth, we will be tried and tested in many ways. I know that for me, sometimes it IS HARD to do the right thing. I am currently going through MANY struggles due to change in values and beliefs and trust me, it's not an easy road.
While we are on this earth, we will always be learning to put God first over man. It's an on-going process that never ends. I guess it's to help us develop a solid faith in Christ.
"I am currently going through MANY struggles due to change in values and beliefs and trust me, it's not an easy road."
Yes Sofia,
I definitely can relate.
I have been there... and am still growing.
It has made me stronger in my faith and it will you too.
Believe me, you will THANK THE LORD later on because you will have searched for truth instead of blindly accepting someone's say so (and possibly being deceived). Beg the Lord for wisdom.... He will give it! :-)
I have wondered how many Christians would be able to stand up to actual persecution like that when so many give in to relatives or friends, or employers on smaller issues. Every time I hear the song "I Pledge Allegiance To The Lamb", it makes me wonder how I would do in those circumstances.
Not all peer pressure is bad, if the peers are doing what is right, it can help us - its the bad peer pressure that we need to stand up to.
I read over my comment again and thought I should clarify. I didn't mean to say that wearing your hair down is wrong. That wasn't the issue at all and I don't feel it's wrong to wear your hair down!
I'm always afraid of not wording my thoughts right!
I loved Civilla's comments about peer pressure never going away. She is so right! I think Satan knows our weaknesses and just the right timing to bring along certain pressures.
Kelly,
I had no problem understanding, but thanks for clarifying anyway...
i came across your blog from shannon mangerchine's ...wow. great post! (i love the one about the family games too) --i work at an after school program so those are great ideas for me! :)
anyway, just wanted to encourage you that the little glance i got at your blog just now has sharpened me and built me up!! (...i'd say that calls for some kudos!;)
..clearly the Lord is at work in your life and heart and that can't help but impact your family --even to eternity!! (shew! that's good stuff!) be blessed! -kim.g...
Mark, ditto
Kim G. Thanks for stopping in!
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